my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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