I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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