By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
