Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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