it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
