It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
