I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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