**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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