My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
