First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We need to get me chipped asap
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
