I got chris browned last night
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The struggles of a small town man whore
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
