He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
