if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
