I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Everything about him screamed your future.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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