Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
