i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
