after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
is that a dick in a sweater?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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