I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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