Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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