Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
