Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
