Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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