Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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