can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
