Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
