I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
