I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Damn victory sex feels great
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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