I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
