i barfeds in our rink
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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