My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
