i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
