How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The air taste purple.
Randomize