I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
