Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
