there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
