marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
there's paper in my vomit.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
