Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
