Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
