He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
