it hurts more in the daytime
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
