TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
