He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
