birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize