After last night, I could never be a politician.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
