and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I FOUND THE LEGS
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
