im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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