It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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