Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize