So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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