She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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