Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We need to rekindle our bromance
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
