Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
