we made out on top of his cat.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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