i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize