Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
