how do flat chested girls get laid?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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