I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize