i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
