It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
